Funny Things About The English Language (By MissPackRat4Jesus (42) on 06/25/2004)

At communion we drink the cup, but we never eat the plate
The words "organise", "organism" and "organist" mean completely differ
We hear of people coming from "up north" or "down south", but never "left west" or "right east"
Boxing rings are not shaped like a ring at all. They're square!
Pineapple does not contain pine or apples.
"Slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same.
"Flammable" and "Inflammable" mean the same.
Headcheese does not contain cheese.
Christian Science is neither Christian nor science.
A writer can write, but a finger can't "fing", a grocer can't "groce", and a hammer can't "ham".
Cheez Whiz contains neither Cheese, nor Whiz.
When people say "I could care less", they mean "I couldn't care less".
There's nothing quick about "quicksand".
If "geese" is the plural form of "goose", why isn't "meese" the plural of "moose"?
Why not 'teethbrush'?
How does one "rest" in a "restroom"?
If "am" applies to "I", why is it: "Aren't I"?
Given that the male pronouns are "he", "his", and "him" -- a female is called "she", but never called "shis" and "shim".
A plural form of "brother" is "brethren" -- but the plural of "mother" is never "methren".
French fries do not come from France.
If "mice" is the plural form of "mouse", why isn't "hice" the plural of "house"?
We hear of "girlie" things, but hardly ever "boyie" things.
Heartburn does nothing to the heart at all.
Horseradish has nothing to do with horses.
More than one box is "boxes", but more than one ox is not "oxes".
The 'english' horn is not English
A house can burn up as it burns down.
Breadfruit is neither bread nor fruit.
If "teeth" is the plural form of "tooth", why isn't "beeth" the plural of "booth"?
If it's from Scarf to Scarves, why is it from Dwarf to Dwarfs?
English muffins do not come from England.
Hamburger does not contain ham.
Didn't 'gay' once mean 'care-free' or 'happy'?
Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
Our noses run, and our feet smell.
Eggplant does not contain egg.
People have said "that's okay with me" for years now; suddenly they start saying "I'm okay with that".
GrapeNuts cereal contains neither grapes nor nuts.
Why is the word "lisp" named as such when one who lisps can't pronounce the letter 'S'?
"ain't"
You can ship by truck, and send cargo by ship.
Teachers have taught, but never has a preacher ever "praught".
You park in a driveway and drive on the parkway.
We recite in a play, and play during a recital.
A man can womanize, but a woman can't manize
Cowpea has nothing to do with cows.
When you feel down, people ask what's up